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Convention of blondes

- At a convention of blones, a speaker insisted that "dumb blonde" myth is all wrong. To prove it he asked one cute young volunteer, "How much is 101 plus 20?"
The blonde answered, "120."
"No," he said, "that's not right."
The audience called out, "Give her another chance."
So the speaker asked the blonde, "How much is 10 plus 13?"
Slowly the blonde replied, "16."
"Sorry," he said, shaking his head. Once again the crowd roared, "Give her another chance."
"This is your last try," warned the speaker. "How much is 2 plus 2?"
Carefully she ventured, "Four?"
And the crowd yelled, "Give her another chance!"

Bad day

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

Dumber

It's a nasty day, and a guy gets pulled over for speeding.

The cop says, "Isn't it kind of dumb to be driving so fast in this storm?"

The driver says, "Who's dumb? You're the one who's standing out in the rain."

another blonde joke

A blonde went to buy a lottery ticket, and sure enough, she won! She goes to lottery headquarters to claim it and the man verifies her ticket number. The blonde says, "Great! I want my $20 million now please."

The man replied, "No, sorry lady. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today, and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."

The blonde said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."

Again, the man explained that she would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.

The blonde, furious with the man, finally screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back!"

a blonde and car

A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, "I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?"

"Why sure," said the manager, "we have something that works especially well for that."

A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. "No, no! A little to the left," said the other blonde inside the car.

reason i dont want to become a police

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nice jokes

Sherlock Holmes and Watson were out camping one night. After pitching the tent and rolling out the sleeping bags, they decide to turn in. In the middle of the night, Holmes violently shakes Watson awake. "Watson," he says, "look at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see the stars." replies Watson.

"Yes, and what does that tell you?"

Watson takes a big breath "Astronomically speaking, it means that we are insignificant among the spectrum of the universe, phycologically speaking that we are only creating a dent in the infinant mystery of life, and theologically speaking that God rules all things. How about you, sir?"

"What it tells me," he says, "is that someone has stolen our tent."